I'm Still Here

so it's been over a week since my last posting and i think i was feeling a little discouraged about my BGL... i'll post my numbers for the week at the end of this post... it seems that after the july 4th holiday, i really was not feeling good.. i ended up with lower back spasms for a few days, then i had a neck/shoulder spasm on the left side for a few days (possibly because of how i was moving to compensate for the back spasm... then a middle back spasm... lol... it was not good... last week wednesday i had to use one of those riding carts to get around a store because i couldn't stand up straight and at the time i remember thinking, "this is why those people walk like this with a forward lean"... lol... anyway, the next day i had to use a cane... but by friday i was walking fairly straight with minimal pain... then saturday evening the neck spasm started and lasted a couple of days... i now know for SURE that eating red meat that is not organic is absolutely NOT worth it... i don't seem to have problems with organic red meat like that... but every time i've had the "bad" red meat, i end up with inflammation and pain somewhere in my body... ok... so here are my stats for the days i didn't post:

Date BP P BGL
7-09-09 143/90 80 190 (145 before bed)
7-10-09 130/82 72 178
7-11-09 131/83 83 185
7-12-09 126/81 76 173
7-13-09 132/83 69 169
7-14-09 135/88 72 161
7-15-09 117/76 70 173
7-16-09 117/74 70 159

my bgl is coming down again... i pray i continue to do what i'm doing... i feel good today and happy that i'm not craving any junk... :)

July 4th Saga - Falling Off The Wagon

ok... so i did my 30 days and the plan is to keep going... but the 4th of july got in the way :( ... i'm not making excuses.... but i AM human, so i'm just documenting what happened... my sister came in to town and i'd promised her, two months ago, that when she came i'd COOK for her... specifically i'd cook her some beef ribs for the 4th... she held me to that promise and i kept it... had a few people over and made an event of it... i decided to still continue with my green smoothies in the mornings and i did a lot of raw, BUT i also ate the regular cooked food... so if being 80% raw is equivalent to being in rehab, then the 4th of july is like falling off the wagon... and i don't think i just fell off --- i JUMPED off... had a good weekend though... but NOW??? my BP and BGL are back up... this morning, 136/89 and 218 respectively with a resting pulse of 73... it didn't help that last night, for the second night in a row, i ate a PINT of coconut milk ice cream... AND my back is spasming... so i'm back on track today... back to what i know i need to do... and now that i've gotten used to 100% raw breakfasts and lunches, i'm ready to begin my next change... i'm going to attempt to start going to bed earlier... don't laugh, but i need to be IN my bed by midnight... i need to write it to make it a real commitment to change... i'm also going to try to incorporate at least 10 minutes of serious exercise 3 times a week into my schedule... once again, don't laugh... i need to start at a pace that i can maintain indefinitely so that it can become a part of my lifestyle... all throughout my off the wagon weekend, i still ate 100% raw breakfasts and only on saturday was my lunch NOT a 100% raw... so this is now a HABIT for me and i'm glad, because as bad as it was, it could have been worse... i have no more pints of raw frozen desserts in my freezer, so i won't binge on them... i just need to not bring them home... we shall see how i fare on that... anyway, enough of this... i have to do what i have to do...

There's No Stopping Me Now

i made it!!... 30 days... and this morning i woke up and knew that i needed to record some measurements... with that said, i'm happy to announce that 14.5 "prisoners" have been released from my domain... they are collectively and generally referred to as "Fat Pounds"... with good behavior they will remain free to roam the universe and, as attached as we once were, i pray that i NEVER see them again!!... my BP was 121/69 and P 75... BGL 196... i'm not happy about this number, but it is still considerably lower than it was 30 days ago... (about 78 points lower than my day one measurement!!)... it goes down during the day, but i really want my morning measurement to be normal... i believe that if i continue on this journey, it will happen... W today was 359.5... i was laughing this morning as i headed off to work thinking that perspective is everything... i was ecstatic to see the 350's again... lol... almost giddy with excitement... and who in there right mind is HAPPY to be 359.5 pounds???... easy answer... ANYONE who's ever been at 360 or heavier... lol... my FAT measurement is still "E4"... an error because i apparently have too much fat to measure... but my BMI is now 54.7 ... if that means anything, i've dropped 2.2 points on the BMI scale... so, i'm not where i want to be, but i'm also not where i used to be :)... i've taken the first few steps of my journey and i'm feeling good...

Raw "Beef" Burritos!!!!

ok so i'm excited about what i ate last night... a variation of a raw burrito that i got the recipe for a few weeks ago and doctored up a little... it was so AWESOME!!!!... i could hardly believe i was eating raw and loving it so much... so i'm posting the instructions so i don't forget how to make it... ok so i soaked the walnuts over night, drained them and then put them in the food processor until they had ground beef consistency... dumped it into a mixing bowl, added chopped onion, cumen, chili powder, sage, savory and braggs and mixed it up... it even almost SMELLS like meat!!... and it sure LOOKS like it!!!... wow... so then i washed some collard leaves and put the "meat" on the leaves with some freshly chopped tomatoes and cilantro, wrapped it up like a burrito and ate to my hearts content... next time i think i'll try adding some avocado and maybe more onions... anyway, last night after i had that i stayed up too late and ended up chomping on some dried fruit snacks which had too much concentrated sugar in them for my blood... woke up with a good BP 123/76 with a resting pulse of 72 :) and a high BGL of 189 :( ... so tonight i'm not eating anything... we'll see if it makes a difference in the morning... anyway, results day is coming up and i'm still a little wary about it... i'd better get to bed...

28 Days and Counting

so it's been almost a week since i posted... so much has happened... the love of my teenage life, and the creator of my favorite album of all time (Off the Wall), michael jackson, died on thursday, june 25, 2009... i'm a grown woman now... i was over him when i was still a teenager, but i've always been a fan... i truly did not believe that his passing would affect me as it did, but i literally shed REAL TEARS!!!... i'm still having odd moments when the talk radio shows play his music as a tribute... makes me misty eyed... anyway, RIP MJ...

this week i also began my exercise journey and i'm keeping it a reasonable pace... i had some high blood sugar mornings (one morning as high as 206 i believe).... i've had some decent readings (down to 114)... but i haven't gotten to a consistently normal BGL reading yet... i'm a little disappointed, but i knew this would be a more gradual thing since i'm not doing 100% raw... when i tried doing 100% raw last year my results were phenomenal... everything except my weight was "normal" by the end of my second week... but after my 30 day commitment i was DONE... the downside this time is that i'm not "normal" yet... my BP is almost normal consistently, but only ALMOST... my BGL is fluctuating... i thought it was going down, but then it seemed that when i started exercising it went back up... and my weight is unknown at the moment... i'm kind of scared to get on the scale... i don't want this journey to be about my weight loss, although that is what people will probably see... but i'm thinking that if i get on the scale and i haven't lost anything or only lost a couple pounds, i might be disappointed... if i've lost a ton, i'll be hoping the same thing happens next month when i weigh again... i guess the upside to all of this is that THIS time i feel like i can keep going... at this moment it seems like it could be a lifestyle change... literally... yesterday afternoon/evening i had company over and i ate about 80% COOKED food for that meal.... the rest of the day was at least 80% raw though... i did have a crisis moment last night... i've found that there are some things i just can't keep in my house, because although i don't physically crave them, i have psychological cravings for them and "if i see it, i almost always eat it"... so yesterday, someone who brought the rolls either forgot or left the extras on my counter top... and last night when i noticed them, i lost my mind and ate them --- ALL SEVEN i think!!!!!!!.... i lost count and figured i should get it all down and over with... stupid i know... but it's my reality... NO BREAD IS IN MY HOUSE... i'm like a junky... a straight up addict... white flour, white sugar NOT APPROPRIATE FOR ME... i'm not saying i'll never eat it, i'm just saying that i can't at this point control it... so, only in the presence of other people, when i feel accountable, can i even consider taking a bite of "the untouchables" lol... i didn't even have a single roll with my cooked meal... i made good choices... i had a small slice of the dessert... all in all it was a good day... then --- i found the rolls... *sigh*...

today i didn't feel all that good... small aches reminiscent of the cooked food lifestyle... i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was all the excess carbs running through my body... so today i got up and did it right... i was 100% raw today... not because i'm restricting myself in anyway... just because it's what i truly felt like eating today... i'm not putting any limits on myself... for breakfast i had a green smoothie made with papaya, strawberries, nectarine, collard leaves, kale leaves and purified water... it was filling and kept me feeling good for about four and a half hours... then for lunch i had a huge sweet red bell pepper, a banana, some cherries and some water a little later... i snacked on more cherries after work because i was hungry... it got me by until i got home... i had intended to make zucchini spaghetti and meatballs, but instead i made a ground "beef" from walnuts, spices and onions.... it turned out sooooo good... then i made this recipe someone gave me a couple weeks ago with the ground "meat"... i washed some collard leaves and used them as "burrito" wraps... then i put the ground meat in the wrap with some chopped tomato and fresh cilantro, wrapped it up and chomped down on them... it was sooooooo good... it was literally mouth watering... so then i had some left over fresh lemon juice and i added some agave and pure water and made me a FRESH LEMONADE... it was awesome... totally filling and totally satisfying... i was going to have some kind of raw dessert, but i'm not feeling like it... so we'll see... maybe a few more cherries for dessert... i think i'm going to make a raw pina colada tomorrow... lol... and i'll have the pasta since i also made the meatballs tonight... i'm enjoying this lifestyle thing... i hope and pray that it lasts... maybe even a lifetime :) ... i feel so FREE! :)

Week 4 Begins --- What in the world?!?!?

ok... so last night i didn't eat anything in the late evening after dinner, so it was about 5 or six hours between dinner and bedtime and all i had was water... i checked my BP before going to bed and it was 118/78 with P 75 and my BGL was 147... of course i didn't eat anything in the midst of my sleep so WHY was my BGL at 179 this morning?!?!?!... this "dawn phenomenon" thing is quite irritating... anyway, at least my BP was 129/73 and P was 69... i'm almost tempted to eat something before i go to sleep, just to see what happens to my BGL, because it seems that when i've eaten a snack before bed in the past my BGL has been normal in the morning... gonna have to test that out, but not now... hoping that this week will prove to be a great one!!... oh yeah... i'm committing to starting my exercise program this week... today is going well so far... of course i haven't done my exercises yet, but i will... for SURE...

Raw Binging... For Real?!?!?!?

ok... so i really thought this was going to be the end of all my food issues... well last night i realized that it is not... i don't know what came over me, but i was doing well all day long and then last night i just had this crazy NEED to eat MORE... it was different from when i used to have cravings for stuff... i can't even quite explain it myself, but i just NEEDED to eat some fish... so i ate some smoked fish... technically still raw food... i also had quite a lot of watermelon yesterday... and dried fruit and nuts... and cacao nibs with raisins and macadamia nuts... i felt a little out of control, but i'm wondering if there was something in the fish that my body needed... today i got up and felt totally fine... no urges, or compulsions to eat anything in particular... i did my normal green fruit smoothie in the morning then later in the day i had some zucchini pasta with walnut "meat"balls and tomato sauce then had raw chocolate mousse for dessert... it was great... i was happy and i'm fine... i don't know how to feel about what happened last night... i'm not going to let it get to me though... tomorrow marks the end of three weeks doing at least 80% raw food living... so beginning week 4 i'm going to start incorporating a structured exercise program into my new lifestyle... just have to pace myself... i think 3 weeks to develop or replace an old habit wth something new is just about right for me... i'm into the whole raw food thing now... hope it lasts a long time... haven't measured my BGL in a couple days because i ran out of test strips and they probably won't get here until monday... anyway, i'm feeling good and my blood pressure has been normal the last couple of days... i guess i'll just have to see how the next few days go... anyway, i truly believe that my health is improving and although i'm not making this all about weight, i'm beginning to feel interested in finding out if i lost any pounds... i think i'll check next week at the end of week 4...