On again....

ok... so on monday, february 22nd, i got up and decided that i was going to go back on a plan... i've been thinking about it for a while and trying to figure out what next plan would work best for me... the goal is to create lifestyle changes that i can continue to maintain and do for a lifetime... so i'm still doing high raw food consumption because i like it, it's easy for me and it seems to keep my immune system in check... but i'm definitely not ready to be vegetarian... so it meant that monday i had to face the music and get on the scale and check my morning blood sugar level... it was horrible... my weight was at 358... i gained 9 lbs since thanksgiving holiday... at least i didn't gain it ALL back... but now that i know, i'm ok with it... not happy about it, but not ready to just throw in the towel either... i've taken "two steps forward and one step back", but i'm still ahead of where i was and i'm still heading in the right direction... my BGL was 210 that morning... not good... but i've been doing my thing now for five days of this 11 day cycle and i've been peeing like crazy (drinking 10 glasses per day minimum of water)... i'm off all refined carbs for a total of 11 days... my BGL before bed last night was 140 and this morning was 170... i'm not getting back on the scale for another week because i don't want the numbers to rule me... i've been planning for and eating SIX small meals per day... i haven't been hungry a single bit, but six times is pretty challenging... after next week i think i'll do four meals a day or maybe five at the most... we'll see... anyway, i'm grateful to be given yet another opportunity to improve my health and lose some weight... when i continue to fall off the wagon over and over again, all i can ask of myself is to get back up again... so i did... this is definitely a long ride... i honestly didn't think my journey would be like this... didn't think i'd veer off course so many times... but it is what it is... and i'm grateful that i'm still here... thankful that i haven't given up... i'm gonna make it... with God on my side, i'll make it... sleep is calling me and i need to answer... :)