Still Here...

so i'm still here, but just barely hanging on to my raw food... not sure what happened, but i'm on some sort of binge cycle again... it's not as bad as it could be i guess... i'm just eating regular food and more fast food than i think i should... i'm exploring some other health choices... trying to be temperate... i'm supposed to be sleeping, but my sister came to visit over the weekend and my 10pm bedtime went out the door... lol... we stayed up every "night"... 'till 3 or 4 AM!!!... talking and watching movies... then she left on sunday and i kept staying up late... now my parents came to visit for the week and i'm up watching tv with my mom... just ate two oranges... at least they were raw... i'm investigating something called calorie cycling and i'm going to see if i can incorporate it somehow into my healthful lifestyle... want to see if/how it will affect my weight... although of course my lifestyle change is not about weight... but i still want to feel less heavy... i haven't exercised since last week... my back is still not 100% back to normal (i had a back spasm a couple weeks ago)... anyway, i just thought i'd check in since i haven't been hanging out here as much as i wanted to... i think i might be avoiding something... but i'm not sure what... i always seem to run from my emotions... we'll see if i can dig deeper this time... anyway, i need to actually go to sleep... daylight seems to come so fast...