Raw "Beef" Burritos!!!!

ok so i'm excited about what i ate last night... a variation of a raw burrito that i got the recipe for a few weeks ago and doctored up a little... it was so AWESOME!!!!... i could hardly believe i was eating raw and loving it so much... so i'm posting the instructions so i don't forget how to make it... ok so i soaked the walnuts over night, drained them and then put them in the food processor until they had ground beef consistency... dumped it into a mixing bowl, added chopped onion, cumen, chili powder, sage, savory and braggs and mixed it up... it even almost SMELLS like meat!!... and it sure LOOKS like it!!!... wow... so then i washed some collard leaves and put the "meat" on the leaves with some freshly chopped tomatoes and cilantro, wrapped it up like a burrito and ate to my hearts content... next time i think i'll try adding some avocado and maybe more onions... anyway, last night after i had that i stayed up too late and ended up chomping on some dried fruit snacks which had too much concentrated sugar in them for my blood... woke up with a good BP 123/76 with a resting pulse of 72 :) and a high BGL of 189 :( ... so tonight i'm not eating anything... we'll see if it makes a difference in the morning... anyway, results day is coming up and i'm still a little wary about it... i'd better get to bed...

28 Days and Counting

so it's been almost a week since i posted... so much has happened... the love of my teenage life, and the creator of my favorite album of all time (Off the Wall), michael jackson, died on thursday, june 25, 2009... i'm a grown woman now... i was over him when i was still a teenager, but i've always been a fan... i truly did not believe that his passing would affect me as it did, but i literally shed REAL TEARS!!!... i'm still having odd moments when the talk radio shows play his music as a tribute... makes me misty eyed... anyway, RIP MJ...

this week i also began my exercise journey and i'm keeping it a reasonable pace... i had some high blood sugar mornings (one morning as high as 206 i believe).... i've had some decent readings (down to 114)... but i haven't gotten to a consistently normal BGL reading yet... i'm a little disappointed, but i knew this would be a more gradual thing since i'm not doing 100% raw... when i tried doing 100% raw last year my results were phenomenal... everything except my weight was "normal" by the end of my second week... but after my 30 day commitment i was DONE... the downside this time is that i'm not "normal" yet... my BP is almost normal consistently, but only ALMOST... my BGL is fluctuating... i thought it was going down, but then it seemed that when i started exercising it went back up... and my weight is unknown at the moment... i'm kind of scared to get on the scale... i don't want this journey to be about my weight loss, although that is what people will probably see... but i'm thinking that if i get on the scale and i haven't lost anything or only lost a couple pounds, i might be disappointed... if i've lost a ton, i'll be hoping the same thing happens next month when i weigh again... i guess the upside to all of this is that THIS time i feel like i can keep going... at this moment it seems like it could be a lifestyle change... literally... yesterday afternoon/evening i had company over and i ate about 80% COOKED food for that meal.... the rest of the day was at least 80% raw though... i did have a crisis moment last night... i've found that there are some things i just can't keep in my house, because although i don't physically crave them, i have psychological cravings for them and "if i see it, i almost always eat it"... so yesterday, someone who brought the rolls either forgot or left the extras on my counter top... and last night when i noticed them, i lost my mind and ate them --- ALL SEVEN i think!!!!!!!.... i lost count and figured i should get it all down and over with... stupid i know... but it's my reality... NO BREAD IS IN MY HOUSE... i'm like a junky... a straight up addict... white flour, white sugar NOT APPROPRIATE FOR ME... i'm not saying i'll never eat it, i'm just saying that i can't at this point control it... so, only in the presence of other people, when i feel accountable, can i even consider taking a bite of "the untouchables" lol... i didn't even have a single roll with my cooked meal... i made good choices... i had a small slice of the dessert... all in all it was a good day... then --- i found the rolls... *sigh*...

today i didn't feel all that good... small aches reminiscent of the cooked food lifestyle... i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was all the excess carbs running through my body... so today i got up and did it right... i was 100% raw today... not because i'm restricting myself in anyway... just because it's what i truly felt like eating today... i'm not putting any limits on myself... for breakfast i had a green smoothie made with papaya, strawberries, nectarine, collard leaves, kale leaves and purified water... it was filling and kept me feeling good for about four and a half hours... then for lunch i had a huge sweet red bell pepper, a banana, some cherries and some water a little later... i snacked on more cherries after work because i was hungry... it got me by until i got home... i had intended to make zucchini spaghetti and meatballs, but instead i made a ground "beef" from walnuts, spices and onions.... it turned out sooooo good... then i made this recipe someone gave me a couple weeks ago with the ground "meat"... i washed some collard leaves and used them as "burrito" wraps... then i put the ground meat in the wrap with some chopped tomato and fresh cilantro, wrapped it up and chomped down on them... it was sooooooo good... it was literally mouth watering... so then i had some left over fresh lemon juice and i added some agave and pure water and made me a FRESH LEMONADE... it was awesome... totally filling and totally satisfying... i was going to have some kind of raw dessert, but i'm not feeling like it... so we'll see... maybe a few more cherries for dessert... i think i'm going to make a raw pina colada tomorrow... lol... and i'll have the pasta since i also made the meatballs tonight... i'm enjoying this lifestyle thing... i hope and pray that it lasts... maybe even a lifetime :) ... i feel so FREE! :)

Week 4 Begins --- What in the world?!?!?

ok... so last night i didn't eat anything in the late evening after dinner, so it was about 5 or six hours between dinner and bedtime and all i had was water... i checked my BP before going to bed and it was 118/78 with P 75 and my BGL was 147... of course i didn't eat anything in the midst of my sleep so WHY was my BGL at 179 this morning?!?!?!... this "dawn phenomenon" thing is quite irritating... anyway, at least my BP was 129/73 and P was 69... i'm almost tempted to eat something before i go to sleep, just to see what happens to my BGL, because it seems that when i've eaten a snack before bed in the past my BGL has been normal in the morning... gonna have to test that out, but not now... hoping that this week will prove to be a great one!!... oh yeah... i'm committing to starting my exercise program this week... today is going well so far... of course i haven't done my exercises yet, but i will... for SURE...

Raw Binging... For Real?!?!?!?

ok... so i really thought this was going to be the end of all my food issues... well last night i realized that it is not... i don't know what came over me, but i was doing well all day long and then last night i just had this crazy NEED to eat MORE... it was different from when i used to have cravings for stuff... i can't even quite explain it myself, but i just NEEDED to eat some fish... so i ate some smoked fish... technically still raw food... i also had quite a lot of watermelon yesterday... and dried fruit and nuts... and cacao nibs with raisins and macadamia nuts... i felt a little out of control, but i'm wondering if there was something in the fish that my body needed... today i got up and felt totally fine... no urges, or compulsions to eat anything in particular... i did my normal green fruit smoothie in the morning then later in the day i had some zucchini pasta with walnut "meat"balls and tomato sauce then had raw chocolate mousse for dessert... it was great... i was happy and i'm fine... i don't know how to feel about what happened last night... i'm not going to let it get to me though... tomorrow marks the end of three weeks doing at least 80% raw food living... so beginning week 4 i'm going to start incorporating a structured exercise program into my new lifestyle... just have to pace myself... i think 3 weeks to develop or replace an old habit wth something new is just about right for me... i'm into the whole raw food thing now... hope it lasts a long time... haven't measured my BGL in a couple days because i ran out of test strips and they probably won't get here until monday... anyway, i'm feeling good and my blood pressure has been normal the last couple of days... i guess i'll just have to see how the next few days go... anyway, i truly believe that my health is improving and although i'm not making this all about weight, i'm beginning to feel interested in finding out if i lost any pounds... i think i'll check next week at the end of week 4...

Loving Raw Food

so today i got up and checked my blood pressure... it was 129/85 with a resting heart rate of 71... blood glucose level this morning was 151... then midday, i decided to check my pressure again and it was 120/78 with a pulse of 60!!!!!... i'm sooo excited about this... i feel good and even more, i'm loving the food and feeling totally satisfied every day... today i had a green/fruit smoothie for breakfast with banana, blueberries, nectarine, collard greens, barley greens and water... it was goooood... and i wasn't hungry after that for hours... then later i had tabouli for lunch and for dinner i made a new recipe i found today on another bloggers site... it was zucchini spaghetti with walnut meatballs... i've never had it with meatballs before and it was DELICIOUS... i can't believe it's raw food that i'm loving so much... wow!!... i'm still thinking about the coconut vanilla milkshake i made two days ago... i'm going to make a chocolate mousse pie for a potluck... i'm thinking about chocolate pudding... lol... it's unreal what we can do with RAW LIVING FOOD... wow...

It's Been a While

so i haven't posted anything for almost a week now... tomorrow will be exactly a week since my last post... don't worry... i haven't fallen off the wagon, but i did have a couple of near spills... first i'll post my numbers (with commentary as needed)...

Friday 6-12-09 BP 138/85 P 76 BGL 155

Saturday 6-13-09 BP 139/88 P 69 BGL 148

as you can see, my numbers were headed down in a nice and steady fashion... then saturday, i spent most of the day alone... and by the end of the day i think i was wanting some "comfort food" so around midnight (my timing needs to improve drastically) i decided to eat a pint of dary free gluten free coconut milk based "ice cream" with agave nectar as the sweetener... now i highly doubt that it was raw, but i had it in the freezer because i bought it on friday at the whole foods market... i love the stuff and it's supposed to be "healthy"... but choosing to eat the entire pint after midnight was not a good idea... the next morning my BGL showed it...

Sunday 6-14-09 BP 132/89 P 72 BGL 192

so then on top of that, i had dinner with a friend at the cheesecake factory... i chose to have the avocado egg rolls (definitely not a raw food) along with a seared tuna (raw) salmon salad with mixed greens... it was good, and i still maintained greater than my target of 80% raw food consumption for the week, but i think my body was still not happy with the choices i made... i had a headache that night and the next morning and my BGL was still up...

Monday 6-15-09 BP 136/91 P 76 BGL 189

it's important to note once again, that my measurements are taken in the morning just after i wake up... so my BGL does not run this high during the day... usually goes down to around 115, but i measure in the morning because i experience what's called the "dawn effect" with high BGL's in the morning and i can definitely corelate better health with times when my morning BGL's are in the normal range (below 120)... anyway, no more pints of ice cream at midnight... and the numbers are trending, once again, in the right direction...

Tuesday 6-16-09 BP 135/86 P 78 BGL 176

This morning 6-17-09 my BP was 139/83 with a P of 72 and BGL of 161... i'm still on track... green smoothie or equivalent for the morning fare... fresh fruits and nuts and berries and seeds for the midday snacks and meals... and usually a hefty vegetable meal or salad in the evening with some sort of raw dessert... last night i made a coconut vanilla milk shake... it was totally raw and totally yummy!!... i feel fabulous!!!

Day 11

yesterday was an interesting day... woke up with a BP of 117/80 and P 76... BGL was 177... i did well... had a green smoothie made of kale, apple and mango that tasted pretty good... added some barley greens to the mix and it kept me feeling good all morning long... lunch time i was too busy so i had a raw food bar and some water and i was ok... then i decided later to have tabouli (a parsley salad - about 95% parsley with chopped onions, olive oil, lemon juice, sea salt and tiny bits of bulgar wheat) and raw zucchinni "spaghetti" with a "meat sauce" i made from walnuts, tomatoes, garlic, onion, olive oil, sea salt, dates, sun dried tomatoes, fresh basil, fresh thyme, etc. in the food processor... also had raw corn on the cob... it was goooooood!!!... so i was feeling good, but since i knew i'd be off today i stayed up way too late last night and got hungry again around midnight... then i had a sudden urge to eat meat... so i had some smoked salmon AND some dried jerky on collard leaves... that was good too... at first i felt bad about eating the meat, but then i realized two things... 1) this is a lifestyle choice that i have made--- not a life sentence and my choices have been really good and i'm feeling fabulously wonderful and healthy and 2) i made a committment to live a high raw lifestyle to improve my health... i haven't committed to being vegetarian or vegan or even 100% raw... just high raw... and technically the smoked salmon, the smoked meat and the collard leaves are all raw... and since they were also all organic, i think i did ok... now the timing of WHEN i ate it leaves room for improvement... i just need to go to bed on time lol... anyway, i woke up today and my BP was 132/87 with P 75 and BGL 151 :)

Into the Second Week

well... i successfully completed my first week of a high raw diet and i'm feeling great... i have been keeping some numbers handy... 6-5-09 BP 177/106 P 91 then after deep breathing BP 134/86 P 82 and BGL 218... 6-6-09 BP 129/92 P 90 and BGL 183... 6-7-09 didn't record measurements... 6-8-09 BP 147/90 P 82 and BGL 169... all these measurements are taken in the morning when i wake up... this morning, BP 130/86 P 78 and BGL 170... so i'm trending in a very good direction... by choice, i have not been taking any medications... i'm letting food be my medicine of choice... anyway, i'm feeling great... lot's of energy and sleeping VERY VERY well... i love how i'm feeling and i'm breathing deeper... most of my little "normal" aches and pains are all gone, so i'm able to be more active and household chores don't seem like much of a chore any more... amazing... :) ... i'm solidly into my second week now... attended a raw food conference on sunday which was helpful... it's always nice to be around other people with similar goals... i think i'm happy with the way i'm eating... i now call it a HIGH RAW LIFESTYLE, which to me means that i'm not 100% raw... (even though i was nearly 100% raw last week... it allows me the freedom to choose to eat cooked food or not eat cooked food... the freedom of choice allows me to feel less restricted and boxed in... ironically, i think that will allow me to do this on a long term basis... anyway, time to head back to work... i'm feeling soooooo good :)

Day 4

made it through day 4 and it feels great... i've THOUGHT about food today... had an evening meeting and "dinner" was provided... THEY had pizza... i brought my water, an apple and a raw food bar... i smelled the food, but there was no craving or desire... feeling really good... didn't measure BP today, but BGL was 202 this afternoon after i ate a banana... for dinner i had lettuce wraps... hmmm hmmmm good... well, i'm doing ok... better than ok... gotta go to sleep...

Day 3 RAW

i'm coming to the end of my third day raw and i'm feeling fabulous!... much more energy today... no headache.... a sense of well being... and a raw buzz.... lol... even though i've never done illicit drugs, i've been telling people that the "high" i get when i'm on raw foods must be the high that drug addicts are seeking but never achieve... if they only knew!!! wow... this feels great... last night i slept like a baby and woke up refreshed BEFORE the alarm went off... lol... anyway, my basic stats this morning were, BGL 232 (higher than yesterday morning but i'm not worrying about it), BP 124/82 (back to normal and of course i have NO headache this morning) and P 85 (a little higher than normal for me, but i'm sure it will come down eventually)... oh i almost forgot to mention.... yesterday i had some veggies and avocado wrapped in raw nori sheets... they were pretty tastey... i'm keeping it simple today with fruits and veggies, but i'm gearing up to do some gourmet raw stuff... i do enjoy experiencing food this way-- GUILT FREE and FABULOUS!!

Day 2

this morning i woke up with the WORST headache of my life... now i've done detox's before and i've done a raw cleanse (for 30 days) before... usually i don't get the headache until about day 5 to 7... but today, i wasn't sure i was going to live... i checked my blood pressure and it was 177/105 .... then i panicked thinking i was going to have a stroke... i did some deep breathing exercises for about 10 minutes and the headache subsided somewhat and my pressure at that time was down to 136/95... i was definitely relieved... so i decided to go to work... MISTAKE... shoulda stayed home... pressure went up again at work and i cancelled my appointments for the rest of the day and came back home... stopped at the whole foods market on the way home for a large fresh celery juice and by the time i got home my pressure was down again to 123/85... MUCH better... i'm not sure what that was about, but i'm just going to take it easy for the rest of the day... oh yeah... BGL was 211 this morning... and i don't intend on getting on a scale or doing body fat analysis for at least a week... perhaps i'll leave it alone and only measure those monthly since i truly don't want this journey to be about numbers on a scale... improved health is my goal and the hope that my body picks a different size when it's healthy... anyway, i'm still eating fruits and had a sprouted seed bar today... think i might make some seaweed wraps tonight... not sure though... tried the cauliflower "popcorn" yesterday and it was ok... crunchy...

The Journey Begins

today is june 1, 2009 and i'm starting on my raw journey... i got up this morning with a made up mind and took some baseline measurements... i have several issues that need to be resolved and i'm doing this primarily to improve my health... i'm also ready to lose some weight... carrying the extra weight of a large man is getting to be exhausting... anyway, just for the purposes of documenting this process and staying accountable to myself and to whoever decides they want to follow my progress, i'm going to put some numbers in print that i never would have been able to publish ten years ago... don't be alarmed... i'm taking full responsibility for my health and current status... i don't want to use drugs because i have very unusual side effects with most prescription meds i have been prescribed in the past, so currently i'm not on any medication and that is totally by my choice... so for the baseline numbers, here goes... 1) blood pressure (BP) 150/87 and five minutes later 136/89 ... you should know that i've been borderline hypertensive ever since i was placed on birth control pills to regulate my hormone levels at the age of 19... i had a MAJOR hypertensive response to the meds and was taken off of it after only 1 week of use... my blood pressure dropped but never again returned to normal which prior to that had ALWAYS been well below 120/80... 2) pulse or resting heart rate (P) 89... 3) blood glucose level (BGL) 274... this is the highest it has ever been and probably so high because i've had too many refined carbs in the last week... when i decided i was going to change my lifestyle, it seemed that i went on a kind of binge... i ate things that i don't even usually eat... so i know i have some sort of weird psychological issue... lol... i can't really restrict myself, because i'll rebel against my very own rules... but the BGL is definitely troubling... i used to say i was borderline diabetic, but right now i'm admitting that i must be a diabetic in denial... that's GOT to change... 4) weight (W) 374... need i say more???... this is the heaviest i have ever been... last year my top weight was 373 and i dropped about 20 pounds but never got below 350... it's sobering to know that at a height of about 5'8" i weigh more than big huge football players... more than the heavyweight wrestling champions... my goal this year is to be as healthy as i can be... i hope my choosing a different lifestyle will allow my body to choose a different weight... 5) body mass index (BMI) 56.9 ... i have this little machine that measures my BMI and my FAT... above 25 is bad... above 30 is very very bad, and i'm almost double that... nothing more to say on that... my FAT measurement was "E4"... that means i'm so fat that the machine can't even measure it... i was off the scale... my current goal with that is just to be able to be measured... lol... anyway, those are my baseline measurements for the day... i'm only eating fruits today... i know that some people are going to think, "is she crazy????... her bgl is that high and she's eating FRUITS????"... relax... there are several theories on what is best... i'll monitor myself and keep you posted on how i'm doing... i'm responsible for my own health... i need to be the one to understand what is going on and how i'm going to deal with it... don't get me wrong -- if i break bones or have a critical care crisis, i want a hospital, good allopathic doctors and drugs... but for chronic, lifestyle related diseases i believe that with the right kind of support, i can be my best health care provider...