so it's been almost a week since i posted... so much has happened... the love of my teenage life, and the creator of my favorite album of all time (Off the Wall), michael jackson, died on thursday, june 25, 2009... i'm a grown woman now... i was over him when i was still a teenager, but i've always been a fan... i truly did not believe that his passing would affect me as it did, but i literally shed REAL TEARS!!!... i'm still having odd moments when the talk radio shows play his music as a tribute... makes me misty eyed... anyway, RIP MJ...
this week i also began my exercise journey and i'm keeping it a reasonable pace... i had some high blood sugar mornings (one morning as high as 206 i believe).... i've had some decent readings (down to 114)... but i haven't gotten to a consistently normal BGL reading yet... i'm a little disappointed, but i knew this would be a more gradual thing since i'm not doing 100% raw... when i tried doing 100% raw last year my results were phenomenal... everything except my weight was "normal" by the end of my second week... but after my 30 day commitment i was DONE... the downside this time is that i'm not "normal" yet... my BP is almost normal consistently, but only ALMOST... my BGL is fluctuating... i thought it was going down, but then it seemed that when i started exercising it went back up... and my weight is unknown at the moment... i'm kind of scared to get on the scale... i don't want this journey to be about my weight loss, although that is what people will probably see... but i'm thinking that if i get on the scale and i haven't lost anything or only lost a couple pounds, i might be disappointed... if i've lost a ton, i'll be hoping the same thing happens next month when i weigh again... i guess the upside to all of this is that THIS time i feel like i can keep going... at this moment it seems like it could be a lifestyle change... literally... yesterday afternoon/evening i had company over and i ate about 80% COOKED food for that meal.... the rest of the day was at least 80% raw though... i did have a crisis moment last night... i've found that there are some things i just can't keep in my house, because although i don't physically crave them, i have psychological cravings for them and "if i see it, i almost always eat it"... so yesterday, someone who brought the rolls either forgot or left the extras on my counter top... and last night when i noticed them, i lost my mind and ate them --- ALL SEVEN i think!!!!!!!.... i lost count and figured i should get it all down and over with... stupid i know... but it's my reality... NO BREAD IS IN MY HOUSE... i'm like a junky... a straight up addict... white flour, white sugar NOT APPROPRIATE FOR ME... i'm not saying i'll never eat it, i'm just saying that i can't at this point control it... so, only in the presence of other people, when i feel accountable, can i even consider taking a bite of "the untouchables" lol... i didn't even have a single roll with my cooked meal... i made good choices... i had a small slice of the dessert... all in all it was a good day... then --- i found the rolls... *sigh*...
today i didn't feel all that good... small aches reminiscent of the cooked food lifestyle... i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was all the excess carbs running through my body... so today i got up and did it right... i was 100% raw today... not because i'm restricting myself in anyway... just because it's what i truly felt like eating today... i'm not putting any limits on myself... for breakfast i had a green smoothie made with papaya, strawberries, nectarine, collard leaves, kale leaves and purified water... it was filling and kept me feeling good for about four and a half hours... then for lunch i had a huge sweet red bell pepper, a banana, some cherries and some water a little later... i snacked on more cherries after work because i was hungry... it got me by until i got home... i had intended to make zucchini spaghetti and meatballs, but instead i made a ground "beef" from walnuts, spices and onions.... it turned out sooooo good... then i made this recipe someone gave me a couple weeks ago with the ground "meat"... i washed some collard leaves and used them as "burrito" wraps... then i put the ground meat in the wrap with some chopped tomato and fresh cilantro, wrapped it up and chomped down on them... it was sooooooo good... it was literally mouth watering... so then i had some left over fresh lemon juice and i added some agave and pure water and made me a FRESH LEMONADE... it was awesome... totally filling and totally satisfying... i was going to have some kind of raw dessert, but i'm not feeling like it... so we'll see... maybe a few more cherries for dessert... i think i'm going to make a raw pina colada tomorrow... lol... and i'll have the pasta since i also made the meatballs tonight... i'm enjoying this lifestyle thing... i hope and pray that it lasts... maybe even a lifetime :) ... i feel so FREE! :)
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